Recipe For Disaster
by GrimmLocke420
Summary: Team RWBY embarks on their hardest mission yet, making food for Ozpin and Glynda's dinner! Blood will be shed, fights will be had, and hilarity will occur. [Rated T for mild language]


It was only 6pm and the girls of RWBY were already losing there minds. The task was extremely simple, Ozpin requested that a team of students were to cook for him and Prof. Goodwitch for a 'business dinner'. Well Ruby really knew what was up, he wanted to confess, confess his undying love for his co worker. The huntress would make sure that he'd get that chance. After hearing the announcement Ruby immediately signed her entire team up on a whim. This decision quickly proved to be a mistake as her team could NEVER, under any circumstance, decide what to do.

onions flew through the air as Yang dug through mounds of vegetables, occasionally landing in the wrong dishes the other girls had been making.

"Alright which one of you took the chili peppers!? How am I going to make the chili without the namesake!?" Yang yelled, eyes blaring red.

The Heiress pulled her head up from behind the counter, she had a few wafers in her hand that she was placing into her sorbets for dessert. "Oh, I _might_ have made a couple special spicy sorbets... I call it the Sahara Sorbet~!"

A vein twitched in the blonde's head. "You used ALL of them!? I'm making chili for god's sake! And spicy sorbet sound's awful!"

"Hey! At least I'm experimenting! Besides people love sorbet, no matter what kind!"

Ruby looked over to her teammates, her face covered in flour and her head topped off with a cook's hat. "Gals I just want to say I'm having a really great time right now and that it could be better if we worked as a t-"

"QUIET!" Weiss responded. "How did you even get flour on you? We aren't even using that in our dishes!"

"Weiss, I'm making spaghetti. You guys know that one movie where the cute dog and the cute girl dog share spaghetti and they kiss at the end?" Blake looked to her with salad dressing staining her apron that read 'Kiss the Cat'.

"Lady and the Tramp?" She asked.

"Yep! Best movie of all time. Point is making one entree of spaghetti equals a kiss by the end of dinner."

Yang could see the stars twinkle in Ruby's eye, always getting wrapped up in her own fantasies. "Ruby your logic is more flawed than our last test scores, and _that's_ saying something."

"Ugh, don't remind me. Alright you two, back to your meals. Blake, how's the tuna salad coming along?"

Blake looked to her friend before looking back down at her plate. So far it was not looking very appetizing, literally just a few pieces of lettuce with salad dressing. "I'm... putting the finishing touches on it, I am the only one here who knows how to cook after all." Weiss looked away from her wafers before responding.

"Blake you make tuna salad and tuna sandwiches, that's it."

"I make _good_ tuna salad and tuna sandwiches thank you very much."

"Well it looks like feces, throw some avocado cubes in there, olives... A side of chicken breast wouldn't hurt either."

"But's that's not what I want to d-" Blake was cut off by Zwei on the other counter barking at Weiss.

The heiress looked over her shoulder to see the doggy. "Well if it isn't my widdle taste tester! Wanna try some Sahara Sorbet?" Weiss asked as she placed the delicacy in front of the dog.

"Bark!" Zwei licked the top of Weiss' sorbet, quickly sending a hot flash to Zwei's frail head whilst a cold spike went down his spine. The corgi tingled on the counter for a moment, looking like he was writhing in his sleep.

"Guys I think he liked it!"

"Weiss it looks like you gave him a nightmare." Yang replied.

"What would you know about nightmares?"

"You're making my life a nightmare..."

* * *

Ozpin looked to his wrist watch, scared to see how long it had taken Team RWBY to make him and Glynda dinner. A simple business dinner should not be so stressful on the Headmaster's heart. They only had so much time in the world before things got out of hand. He should probably check and make sure the girls hadn't burned down the kitchen or something like that. He hastily walked through the halls before reaching Beacon's kitchen.

"Oh, Hi Headmaster Ozpin!" Ruby said, spontaneously appearing in front of the door in a cloud of rose petals.

"Hello Ms. Rose, I do trust the cooking is proceeding as planned?"

Ruby looked around a moment before responding. "Uh, We... We're getting there. We really just can't decide a proper course of action..."

Ozpin looked at her perplexed. "Team RWBY is known for their excellent coordination and decision making on the battlefield."

"Yea that really doesn't translate well in a culinary setting..."

"Sounds like a case of too many cooks in the kitchen. If you would, I'd like to see your team's progress." Ozpin lifted his hand towards the door and entered before Ruby had time to react. Inside he found the Schnee Heiress in a brawl with her busty teammate. Each pulled at each other's hair as ingredients spilled all around them. Their feline compatriot was standing on the sidelines, nonchalantly reading what looked like a cookbook.

"YANG I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!"

"YEA WELL YOUR SORBET TASTES LIKE ASS!"

"AT LEAST I CAN COOK! YOUR HAMBURGERS WERE SO GREASY THEY'LL TAKE 5 YEARS OFF SOMEONE'S LIFE!" The girls continued their tussle before Weiss was thrown onto a large sack of flour, sending a huge mushroom cloud into the air. the flour storm covered everyone in the vicinity in a layer of white. Blake looked to them through lidded eyes as the cloud overtook her.

"If you two are finished... You may notice we have a guest." Blake hinted. Weiss and Yang peered up and noticed their headmaster, covered in flour.

"Oh, hello headmaster! We were just uh, discussing the last additions to your meal!" the brawler replied, trying to cover her and Weiss' asses. Ozpin wiped the flour off his glasses before continuing.

"Yes well I'd like to see how you've come along on the meal. Based on what I see here I feel my standards should be lowered a bit." Team RWBY looked to each other nervously. Blake rolled her eyes before presenting her entrees.

"Well here we have a nice tuna salad complete with a side of chicken breast and topped with corn, tomato slices, salad dressing, and a touch of green onion." Ozpin looked to the meal with curiosity. It did look quite appetizing.

"Hmm, very nice work Ms. Belladonna."

The faunus held her head up high. "Thank you, Headmaster."

"Headmaster critique my dish next! It's made with only the spiciest ingredients found in this fair kitchen!" Yang exclaimed excitedly. She gestured to the large pot sitting on the stove, filled to the brim in her homemade chili. Steam flew out of it at a steady pace as the surface attempted to cool. Ruby peered into the pot and thought it looked similar to what Yang made back home. It was a special dish only made for Ruby when she misbehaved, 'El Calor del Diablo'.

_No Yang why would you make such an evil thing..._

Ozpin smirked at the sight of the devilish dish. "And what pray tell are the ingredients?"

"Anything and everything spicy, sir! It's so hot it'll melt the pot!"

Weiss looked to her teammate before pinching her nose irritably. "Well Headmaster if you want to try something with a bit more class I highly suggest my Sahara Sorbets." Weiss presented her delicacies to Ozpin elegantly, hoping to portray her food under a dignified light. The dish sat upon the counter top in a small glass cup, a few scoops of strawberry flavored ice cream alternative, and a few wafers sticking out of its sides.

"Yes well that looks like it will make quite the divine dessert if I do say so myself."

"Better than Yang's dish that's for sure.." Weiss shot.

"I heard that!"

"You were supposed to!"

"Alright enough from both of you." Ruby howled. "Headmaster I'd like to show you the dish I prepared. Spaghetti with garlic and clams, topped with anchovies. And now a thin layer of flour thanks to Weiss and Yang..." Ruby pouted at mention of her sister and partner's actions. The headmaster looked to her with caring in his eyes. It was an incredible job they did, even if their antics spoiled some of their foods.

"Ruby the food looks... decent. Despite this you and your team's actions seem to have spoiled what could have been better." Ruby glanced down at her toes as he continued. "Although I do feel that Glynda and I will love what you have prepared."

Yang walked up to her sister and gave her a reassuring pat on the back. "It's alright sis we did our job, I bet we could open up a restaurant one day!"

"Oh Yang don't make me laugh, you owning a restaurant is like a termite owning a lumberyard." Weiss replied irritably, earning a pissed glance from the blonde.

"Shouldn't we set the table up? We've been here for quite awhile." Blake said still cleaning the flour off her once clean body.

"Ooo you're right! Everyone take the dishes you made! I'll set the table." As everyone followed their leader's orders, Ruby turned to see Ozpin. "Thanks for checking up on us, Headmaster. If you hadn't come I think Weiss and Yang would've killed each other..."

"It's my job to make sure my students work at the best of their capabilities. I do hope this experience serves as a lesson that perhaps working together and having the same goal in mind could have bared better fruit." He declared to the Huntress. Before she had time to respond Ozpin exited the kitchen, only to be met by Miss Goodwitch. "Oh hello there, Glynda. Ready for our meeting?"

Glynda looked to him annoyed. "It's already 10 minutes behind schedule, it better be worth the wait."

"Oh trust me, it is. The girls managed to whip up some modest cuisine."

"This better end as well as you said it would, or else you're filing the school's taxes next month." Glynda said in a bothered tone.

"Yes, and if it does go well then we have to do this again next week." The headmaster said with a smirk painted on his lips.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading this new little one shot! This is going to be entered into this month's MonCon at the RWBY subreddit, the theme being life lessons. The life lesson in this being 'Too many cooks spoil the broth'. It'd be fantastic if you could head over there and vote for this story if you liked it! Please fav, follow, or review if you had a ball! Now I must go and sleep cause it's like 4am ;-;**


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